2014.

Hi all!  I remembered I have a blog!  Unfortunately, it really has become something that I no longer have an interest in maintaining, so this will most likely be my last post indefinitely.  But, I’ll try to make it a good one!

Let’s do a 2014 recap of the awesome and not so awesome things that have happened in my life!

Work:

The biggest thing that changed for me this year was leaving my teaching position after 12 years and accepting a new one.  I felt the Lord leading me in a different direction, not only in teaching, but in how many hours I worked.  Once I committed to accept this leading, He provided a new job for me in a matter of 3 weeks.  It was fast, overwhelming, terrifying, and exciting all at once.  Naturally, I over-analyzed the decision to death and spent a couple of months prior to the big change (the job was offered to me in June, to start in August) in abject fear and anxiety.  But, His still small voice led me forward, and I can look back and see that it was for the very best.  I am so happy to be where He has brought me.

Art:

A major catalyst in my consideration for a new job was to step back and focus on my art.  The hours I have been provided have allowed me to devote more time to painting, submissions, and building my portfolio.  I had a piece on display at the SD Fair during the summer, I made my first international art sale, I experienced my first ‘rejection’ of submitted work for a national show, and I was contacted by an art scout seeking new talent.  As of now, I have put the submission for the scout on hold, as I do not feel that the Lord has given me a green light to proceed.  It is an honor, and it would be a huge step forward, but I feel very strongly in keeping the commitment I made to Him, which was that if He saw fit to move me ahead in the art world, I would strive to seek wisdom and discernment before taking any steps, and that my art and art relations would glorify Him above all else.  In doing so, I have ruled out galleries, shows, and organizations that promise immediate exposure, but I move on in trusting His ultimate plan and goal in this area of my life.

Weight Loss:

I am still trudging along, slowly but surely.  At the end of 2013, I injured my foot while running, and subsequently the doctor ordered me not to run for a minimum of 4 months while my foot recovered.  At the beginning of 2014, I started hitting the pavement again, very cautiously.  It took a number of months to get back to where I had been, but I have since exceeded those small milestones.  I will never consider myself an avid runner, and certainly not a long distance runner, but it is my primary source of exercise and stress relief.  Recently, I began trail running, which I absolutely love.  Additionally, I go to the gym regularly and hike one to two times a week.  The progress has been steady, which is all I really want.

Church:

After a sabbatical from attending church that lasted for several months, and nursing a deeply wounded heart, I have returned to a church that I love.  I have made some new friends, reconnected with old ones, and am finally experiencing healing.  It isn't something I've shared here, but my close friends and family know that over a year ago, I had my heart broken in a profound way.  The direction of my life seemed to come to a screeching halt, and I walked away from it questioning my faith, my decisions, and even my worth.  My parents, my close friends, and my mentors came alongside me in ways that still make my heart ache with gratitude and love.  And God used them to nurse me back to health.  This past year especially, though it actually happened in 2013, was pivotal, for it was in 2014 that God moved me out of a place of pain and bitterness and showed me that the spring would come again.  It has been through this season of healing and restoration that I have been able to reflect on how He has carried me, and has been my strength, in my brokenness.  However, I've recently been made aware of some baggage that I carry from that hurt…namely the walls I have built around myself.  I tend to sass and joke around, but I had my ‘ah ha’ moment a few weeks ago as to why that is:  if I am keeping you laughing, or guessing, then I won’t have to be vulnerable.  I use dry humor to deflect from transparency, and it is obviously something the Lord wants me to work on, otherwise I am sure He wouldn't have brought it to my attention.  Right?  Vulnerability is painfully difficult for me.  I was vulnerable once, I let my guard down…and I was hurt.  And yet, in spite of my trepidation and stubbornness, it seems to be the area that God is moving me to grow in.  I apologize, I have gone off on a ‘self-awareness’ rant…all of that to say, I am loving this new season, my church, my church family, and how He has been moving in my life.

Anyway, that pretty much sums up 2014.  It was quiet, in many ways, but good overall.  I am looking forward to what 2015 will bring, the lessons I will certainly learn, the people I will meet, and the seasons of life I will walk through.    

I hope your year was filled with great things, and wonderful experiences.  Enjoy the last few days of the 2014!  

Update.

I've got to try to blog more.  I probably won't...but I can at least try.

Okay, first things first...if you live in San Diego and plan on visiting the San Diego (aka Del Mar) Fair, go check out the Fine Art Exhibit, because...I have a piece on display!  Yes, my little Bumble Bee Girl was selected out of hundreds and hundreds of entries to hang out with some seriously fantastic art by some immensely talented artists from San Diego.  I am humbled, and honored to be among so much talent.  She'll be there until July 6th, so go take a peek if you can!

My Dad accompanied me to the Fine Art Reception, and we had a wonderful time.

I believe the Lord is calling me to focus more on my art, which is a talent He has given me.  I'm excited to embrace a new season in my life, one which will allow for more time to spend with my art and hopefully make the transition into private sales and galleries...there are a number of galleries I am looking into for portfolio submissions, most of which are in LA and San Francisco, so I'll keep my readers posted as I move along.

Want to see an acrylic work in progress?

I finished her recently (acrylic on canvas, 16x20") and am working on her companion piece.  Just in case you were wondering how some of my art begins.

I have more stuff to share, but I think I've rambled enough for one post, so I'll check in later!

The Journey Continues...

Hi folks!  It occurred to me that I haven't posted any updates about the big ol' weight loss journey, mostly because I haven't had many thoughts about it...at least, not very encouraging thoughts to share...

In August, I went on a hike and a beach run, and for a few days afterward I could barely walk due to an intense pain in my left foot.  I went to the doctor and found out I had tendinitis, and the start of a heel spur.  I was given a boot for walking so my foot could be stabilized while it healed, and I was told to stop running for a couple of months.

I enjoy running, and I really love setting goals for myself, such as time and distance.  So, on that day I went for my beach run, I knew I had come a long way in my running goals, and when I got hurt, it derailed me physically and mentally.  I was incredibly disappointed, and being on my foot all day at work with the constant pain was like a continual reminder that I had reached a hurdle in my journey.  I was in a slump, but once the two month mark was over, I got myself back to the gym and focused on other 'foot friendly' activities, like weights and bike riding.

I started 'running' again in January, and had to start from the beginning.  Slow speed, short distances, and just trying to feel happy for whatever I accomplished.  I set new goals, and just took my time.

Now, I take a kickboxing class, I try to factor in weight training regularly, and I am finally back to running longer distances (well, only up to 3.25 miles, but still).  My weight never actually moved during my time off, which I am thankful for, but now I am determined to see the scale continue to drop, and even more than that, I can visibly see changes in my body.

Sometimes, I feel like there aren't any changes...until I unearth old photographs and compare them to the here and now...tonight I found this picture, taken in San Francisco, in 2008.  The picture on the right was taken in November 2013.  It's still horrifying to see the 'before' pictures, but they help me really open my eyes and see...they are the reminders that I need sometimes, not only to press on, but to reflect and see where I've come from.  And to be excited about where I am going...

Friends. (Pt. 2)

Hello!  I have a sequel to my friends post, one which I intended on writing way back in the summer...which makes it more of a prequel...

Anyways, these ladies here in the picture have been in my life since childhood.  The friendships mentioned in the original post have been forged in adulthood, but there is something unique about maintaining friendships that have managed to withstand the painful adolescent years, early adulthood flux, and have settled into mature, permanent relationships.

In fact, many of the friends I had as a child I don't really keep in contact with, just because life shifts, and time moves on, and so the story goes.  I cherish them nonetheless.  

These girls and I reconnected (officially) this past summer, and it was like being a carefree youthful girl again, reminiscing with my friends about the old days, talking about the future.  It was like not a day had passed by, though it had been years since we all had an opportunity to finally find time to spend together in person, not just via Facebook.  

These girls, whom I adore.  I've known one since elementary school, the other since high school.  Oh, the days spent building backyard forts, tea parties, slumber parties, singing in the chorus of high school plays, dances, graduations...these girls were there.  

And I am so thankful they were, and still continue to be. They are wonderful, Godly women.  Kind, beautiful, funny, generous...

I thank God for them, for our pasts that He has woven together into the present, and I am sure will continue into the future.  Have a beautiful, blessed day, friends!  Love you ladies!

Friends.

Yesterday, I celebrated my birthday with a few of my closest, dearest friends ( a couple of them weren't able to make it, but they were there in spirit).  I always feel reflective around my birthday...I find myself lost in thought, thinking back over each year...how things change, or don't change, or how I have changed.

I like my thirties.  I like being in this age, becoming more sure of who I am, what I want for my future.  But, this post is not about self-reflection, it's about friend reflection...

I want to tell you why I adore these ladies, why they are my sisters...

 They make me laugh.  A LOT.  Seriously, they are ridiculously hilarious.

They are all Godly, mature women, who each brings to the table unique talents and gifts.  They are strong where I am weak, they are supportive, they are encouraging, and they are each in a specific walk of life in which they can share wisdom and advice.

We all have common interests...yes, you might be thinking this is an obvious building block of friendship, but I find myself surprised at times that we really do have such common likes and dislikes.  We all tend to spend time together as a larger group because of this, rather than breaking up into smaller groups to do whatever we each like to do.

We've celebrated joys and heartaches together, over the course of a number of years.

So, to my friends, thank you for adding love and laughter to my life.  I feel blessed, and I look forward to many more years of crazy road trips, movie nights, parties, long talks, weddings, babies, and looking for 'rock goats'....