Hello, readers! Yes, it's been a long time since I've posted anything...deep? I guess we can go with that word...
I've been mulling over some stuff lately...a continuation of this post...and this post...or, rather, a follow-up.
First, I must be honest...I am walking a fine line between keeping this blog open, or finally bidding farewell...I am just not certain that it is something I can invest my time, or myself into...I don't have an answer, but want to give my faithful readers (you!) a heads up...
It has been 6 months since I wrote those posts, and let me tell you something: it has been the best 6 months. As I began to allow God back into my heart, and let Him be at the center of it, I discovered that He was always there. Isn't that a humbling thought? The God of the entire universe NEVER left me in that place of desolation that I created. I turned my back on Him, but He never turned His back on me...quite the contrary...He was there, speaking to me, wooing me, moving me...I just couldn't (or, wouldn't) listen to Him.
In 6 months, God has been speaking to me loudly. The difference is that I am willing to take the time to listen to Him. Every day, I come before Him, expecting to hear His voice. Please know, I do not say this as a form of boasting. Rather, I say it because it is proof that God can move in the most dire of circumstances, situations, and heart conditions. A year ago, God could have literally appeared to me, sat across from me, poured us some coffee, and said: 'Angela, we have some things to deal with.' I would have walked away. It wouldn't have mattered what He had to say. Because I didn't care to listen.
Now, I crave the communication with Him...I feel utterly lost without it. Do you know how much He loves it when we come to Him, and seek Him, and talk to Him? Do you know that it doesn't matter what we say or how we feel when we are talking to Him? He just wants us?
And, the amazing part is...He wants to speak to us, too. He has things to say. To you. To me.
So, I want to challenge you to something...perhaps, it is something completely out of your comfort zone. Commit to a week of seeking Him, in open communication...expect to hear Him. Bring to Him whatever is on your heart and mind. If you can't find the words, it's okay. He knows. Just be willing to sit in silence, in His presence, and let Him talk to you. Open your Bible, grab a journal.
Maybe you want to take this challenge, but maybe you are in the midst of trials that are burdening you, and you don't know how to go before Him. It's okay...I've been there, and the greatest lesson I've learned is that God wants me, no matter what I'm going through, or feeling. He'd rather have me angry, sad, discouraged, or broken than not at all.
And, if it makes you feel any better, I have gone to Him many, MANY times, like a child throwing a full-fledged tantrum. I'll 'hash it out', and will then sit in expectation to hear what He has to say...and you know something? In those awful, foot-stamping, sobbing moments, He simply tells me that He is God, and I am me, and I am not God. In the midst of my fit, I will find peace, and He helps me know that He has everything under control. And, I find comfort in knowing that, being the good Father that He is, I am not going to take away His love, or His communication, because of my emotions.
Will you take this challenge? Go to Him, as you are. Open your heart, and your ears to what He is telling you. That trial you are in? Maybe He has been waiting to give you an answer all along...
Will you listen?